Unit Plan 15 (Grade 4 Counselor): Listening with Empathy and Respect

Focus: Help students listen for both facts and feelings during conversations. The counselor models dismissive listening, distracted listening, and empathetic listening, then students identify the differences. Students practice responses such as “I hear you saying…,” “That sounds frustrating,” “I understand why you felt that way,” and “What do you need now?”

Grade Level: 4

Subject Area: School Counseling (Active Listening • Empathy • Respectful Communication)

Total Unit Duration: 1–2 weeks, 30 minutes per session

I. Introduction

This Grade 4 counseling lesson helps students understand that listening is more than being quiet while someone else talks. Students learn that strong listeners pay attention to both the facts of what happened and the feelings underneath the words. The counselor helps students compare dismissive listening, distracted listening, and empathetic listening so they can recognize what makes a conversation feel respectful and supportive.

Students practice listening responses that show attention, empathy, and care during friendship conversations, disagreements, group work, and classroom discussions. They learn that respectful listening can help classmates feel heard, reduce conflict, and improve cooperation. The goal is for students to use active listening and empathetic responses as part of responsible school behavior and positive relationships.

Essential Questions

• What is active listening, and how is it different from just hearing words?
• How can students listen for both facts and feelings during a conversation?
• What makes listening feel respectful, dismissive, distracted, or empathetic?
• How can listening help students cooperate, solve problems, and stay ready to learn?

II. Objectives and Standards

Learning Objectives — Students will be able to:

1. Explain the difference between dismissive listening, distracted listening, and empathetic listening.
2. Identify both facts and feelings in a short conversation or scenario.
3. Use active listening responses such as “I hear you saying…,” “That sounds frustrating,” “I understand why you felt that way,” and “What do you need now?”
4. Practice respectful communication during conversations, disagreements, and group work.
5. Explain how listening, attention, and participation help students cooperate and stay ready to learn.
6. (Optional Session) Role-play listening responses and revise weak listening examples into respectful, empathetic responses.

Standards Alignment — Grade 4 (ASCA-based Custom)

• C:S3.4c — Communicate Respectfully with Peers and Adults
  • Use respectful language, active listening, assertive communication, and connected responses during conversations, disagreements, and group work.
  • Example: A student says, “I understand your idea, but I think we should try this because it solves the problem faster.”
• C:S3.4b — Cooperate and Contribute in Groups
  • Work cooperatively by sharing responsibilities, listening to ideas, accepting roles, and helping the group succeed.
  • Example: A student agrees to be the recorder while another student leads the discussion during a group task.
• C:S5.4a — Practice Attention, Organization, and Responsibility
  • Use school-success behaviors such as listening, following directions, organizing materials, managing time, participating, and staying on task.
  • Example: A student uses a checklist to remember materials and complete a multi-step classroom activity.

Success Criteria — Student Language

• I can explain what active listening looks and sounds like.
• I can listen for both facts and feelings.
• I can use respectful responses that show I heard someone.
• I can explain how listening helps during group work and disagreements.
• I can show attention and responsibility by listening carefully and responding respectfully.